ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
