I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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