remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize