his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
