You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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