I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
