If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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