i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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