You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
