i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
