omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
