I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
