my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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