its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
