New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
