What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize