While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
