This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
