the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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