Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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