You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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