First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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