am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
where are you?
Hypothermia
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
