I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
