i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
