whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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