We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
