Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
