If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
