Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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