god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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