i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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