she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
