so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
