talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
