My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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