I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your penis caused this!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
