you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Boobs are out for the taking
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
