I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I supernannyed him into submission
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
