from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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