Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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