So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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