break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
