Kiss
Puke
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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