I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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