sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
