I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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