Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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