I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
