this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
my liver is dry heaving
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
