Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
