Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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