Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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