dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Your cock deserves a montage
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
