Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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