tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
