I just made out with a guy for $7.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
