We're facebook friends in real life
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize