Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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