so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
